#34: Guilt Trips

My Wii Fit makes me feel so bad about myself every time I turn it on. Even if I go only a couple of days between using it, the stupid thing is all, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” As though it’s just been sitting there, waiting for me to return, but knowing I probably won’t. And instead of feeling sadness, it just feels scorn for me, and it can’t help but snipe when I finally come back. Listen up, Wii Fit: passive-aggression does not work on me. If anything, it will make me use you less out of spite. And then we both lose.

Even worse is when I do use the Wii Fit every day, because it acts all surprised. “Wow, it takes real dedication to exercise daily!” I can just hear its condescension. “I can’t believe you somehow put down the potato chips and got your fat blob of a butt off the couch two days in a row! Make sure you don’t wear yourself out doing the hula hoop, now!”

Stupid Wii Fit. You’re not the boss of me.

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12 Responses to #34: Guilt Trips

  1. Paul says:

    I prefer pilates, the ball never me I’m bad.

  2. flightboy says:

    Wii Fit, designed by Nintendo, a subsidiary of Cyberdyne Corp. On August 21, 2010, it became self aware that you did exercise within the expected parameters. As such, you will be terminated.

  3. blackwatertown says:

    Just tell it you were too busy playing glamorous Wii tennis and bowling where the cool kids hang out. That should undermine its cockiness.

  4. goldie says:

    haha, i have thought the same thing about wii fit. …i can feel it judging me >_>

  5. I constantly feel as though WiiFit is judging me. I wrote an essay about it once… You know you’ve hit a low point when you’re too ashamed to face your digital personal trainer because you know it will want to weigh you. I also always feel extremely huge when I climb on the step-board and it responds with “oof!” Little bastard WiiFit…

  6. MayB says:

    Wii Fit always makes me feel guilty. I can’t even say no to the little Wii Fit Board who wants to give me a fitness tip because he hangs his head in disappointment. Stupid game.

  7. milieus says:

    I have totally gone through this! The WII is psychic. It knew I hadn’t had breakfast and told me to eat a banana. How did it know I have bananas?! It also told my sister to spend more time with me, and her boyfriend to brush his teeth. How does it know these things?! Creepy…

    <3 Milieu

  8. Pingback: #65: Just Dance 2 | Fudge That Sugar

  9. Pinkrose says:

    This is why I don’t use Wii Fit anymore. My family went on a 2 week vacation where we did a lot of hiking, bicycling, and walking, and when we returned and went back to using Wii Fit it ridiculed us. Not something that will encourage me to work out. I would rather go hiking; at least there no one is telling me I am slacking.

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