#18: Hell is…

So far, the only solution I’ve found is to leave and find another bathroom. But it’s a dangerous gambit, because there’s no guarantee the other bathroom will be empty and there’s always the risk that you won’t make it in time.

Of course, that’s if you’re not confident in your ability to win the waiting game. And sorry, ladies, but I will win EVERY TIME.

Yes, I am bragging about how long I can wait before pooping. I take the victories where I can.

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32 Responses to #18: Hell is…

  1. blargh says:

    Oh, God…I do this, too…

  2. Yanira says:

    Yep. Me, too.

  3. flightboy says:

    Most guys don’t find this a problem. But I am one of the few. I too, am a master of the waiting game.

  4. blackwatertown says:

    That’s funny. But I always thought women went into cubicles two at a time anyway when things were busy – poop, chat, make-up, gossip, do a line – maybe I’m thinking of night clubs.

  5. Eric says:

    I wouldn’t set my cheeks on a public toilet seat unless it’s a dire emergency. Not out of any fear for germs, but just for the general filth factor. I feel sorry for you ladies having no choice but to sit. Add in the fact that from my experience most of the womens restrooms are usually filthier than ours and I’m doubly sorry.

    • unofficialdear says:

      actually womens bathrooms are cleaner then mens.

      • Nate says:

        Okay, now that’s a straight-up lie, haha.

      • Fira says:

        Well, let’s just say I’ve never seen a WOMEN’S bathroom with broken sinks, doorless stalls, and exposed plumbing thru broken walls.

        Then again, that’s more of a pure “guys will destroy stuff” factor, not really a cleanliness issue…

        However, I’ve also never seen a women’s bathroom with (literally) shit-graffiti on the walls. Ugh.

    • Jakkers says:

      Actually, men’s bathrooms are only cleaner in places like strip clubs. The girls’ bathrooms in those places are a nightmare.

    • Stephylu says:

      This is indeed an issue. Public toilets are not home toilets and you have no idea who nor how many different bottoms plonked down before yours. Or how hygenic they are in general. Since public restrooms do not screen at the door for contact transfer STDs or other infections, I generally have to take care of my own ass.
      This is the real reason I carry a small bottle of handsanitizer in my purse. I pour some on the seat and wipe it down with a massive wad of tp (sorry environment!), and then I create my own seat cover made of layers of toilet paper. They must over lap each other and hang over the sides–just in case.
      My husband always complains that I take so long. If he only knew…

  6. Kait says:


    There is an almost comically regular sales woman here. She ruins my day every day at around 4pm. Ugh!


  7. Devin says:

    HaHaHa. It’s so true!

  8. Kait says:


  9. swanky banana says:

    umm…. i will poo battle you anyday, fiend.

  10. Jere says:

    Knowing that this affliction hits people the world over, I resolve now to poop (because I don’t care if someone is in the stall next to me) then just hang out for a while and listen to their discomfort grow by the moment.

    • This is brilliance. Sheer brilliance. Public bathrooms gross me out. I avoid them on principle as a self-respecting lover of cleanliness. But if I am ever forced to camp out in one for a few days due to questionable restaurant food, I will keep this resolve in mind.

  11. Theshadavid says:

    Uhmmm, I don’t play the waiting game. I don’t wait, and I don’t leave either. Then again, I’m male, and us guys don’t have this problem. I’ve never actually heard of this until now.

  12. Kathy says:

    A girlfriend and I were just talking about this. We filed it under “things no one warns you will change when you are an adult”: You will never go to the bathroom alone, ever again.

    Seriously ladies, does it have to be social hour in there at all times? Christ, that’s what the water cooler is for.

  13. leslie edens says:

    I’ve given up on the waiting game. Once i started having digestive issues, i just got over this. Bathrooms are there to be used, and so that’s what i do. lol. Before that though, things were bad. haha. And its still always hilarious, knowing that person in the stall is waiting for you to bugger off. lol.

  14. TC says:

    This comic’s on Reddit!

  15. gloria says:

    Ah man don’t I know this. I’m a truck driver so I have to use public restrooms all the time. what I like is those really strong electric hand blowers. the ones that make yer skin flab like your sky diving. they’re so loud that you can do whatever the hell you want without being heard.

  16. phaz says:

    hilarious comic.
    so funny it showed up on 9gag (http://9gag.com/gag/29768/)… unattributed… (i tried to fix it…) (just thought you might like to know…)

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  18. Jess says:

    SO true!!! I love it. I have asked guys if this is an issue for them and your readers’ comments are the first time I’ve heard of guys doing this at all. Thought it was all a girl thing.

    Great comic, sis. Keep it up.

  19. Koi says:

    As the mother of three year old twins, if I can’t wait til I get home (rarely!) then I have to do it with the door open (because my seven year old is autistic and goes insane in small enclosed spaces. That makes me SO the poop winner. But that’s the way to learn to get over a lot of things – necessity was invented by a mother who had already figured out the art of invention.

    Also, if you leave the door open and it sounds like you’re assembling a monkey house, most people will wait in the hall. :)

  20. CP Henahan says:

    Haaaaate the waiting game. But it’s just so awkward for me – I cannot do bathroom things around others.

  21. Jackie S. Quire says:

    I like to wait until someone washes their hands. Water and hand-blowers create AWESOME cover noise.

  22. Storm says:

    why are you in my head?

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  24. Story of my life… this probably happens 3 times a week to me. Geesh…

  25. Susan H says:

    I thought about doing this but then I don’t get a crap what the other girls next to me think when I go (ha pun!). It’s just great relief. :)

  26. katy says:

    I wait for a good 3 minutes, and if the other person is still being quiet, I just let ’em rip.

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